The Secret World of Luxury Dating

5 Research-Backed Insights Into Wooing The Wealthy

Mark Travers

Contributor

rich couple came on a holiday trip by helicopter

Research has consistently shown that the ultra-wealthy are a different breed in terms of personality traits. A 2022 study published in Nature used two large representative samples from Germany to compare the personality profiles of the rich and the non-rich. Here are five takeaways from the study that gives us a glimpse into how the wealthy differ from the non-wealthy:

Wealthy people are willing to take bigger risks and do so more often
The wealthy are generally more receptive to novel experiences
They tend to be more extraverted on average
They are generally thorough and diligent
They tend to be less neurotic, which means they are less susceptible to negative emotions like anxiety

From these traits, we might surmise that the average high-net-worth individual is willing to date outside their “type” (as they are typically extraverted and open to taking risks and experiencing new things), while still holding their romantic partners to high standards when it comes to their habits and personality traits.

However, this is only part of the picture. Real-world data is needed to understand the unique priorities and preferences of the one-percenters of the world. To understand the dating goals of the ultra-wealthy, I turned to Brandon Wade, CEO of the luxury dating service, Seeking.com.

Seeking.com recently conducted a study to answer the question: What are wealthy people looking for in a partner?

The study analyzed data available from the dating profiles of the ultra-wealthy. Here are five findings that stand out.

1. Healthy Partners Are A Priority To High-Income Daters

The analysis showed that wealthy individuals place a lot of importance on how healthy their potential romantic partners are.

For instance, the data showed that when one-percenters look for partners they specifically exclude smokers from the search, and for a good reason. In 2022, researchers studied close to 7000 current smokers, former smokers and non-smokers. They discovered that men who smoked at the time of the study had sexual dysfunction significantly more often than men who did not smoke. While smoking was a strict no-no to wealthy individuals, they had a far more lenient view of partners who enjoy the occasional glass of wine.

The ultra-wealthy also desire partners who have active lifestyles and a strong appreciation for self-care. “Regular exercise, balanced nutrition and adequate sleep have been shown to improve brain function and boost overall cognitive performance. This can lead to better problem-solving skills, innovative thinking and strategic decision-making, all of which can give billionaires a competitive edge in their industries,” Wade explained.

2. Discretion Is Of Utmost Importance To The Ultra-Wealthy

The data revealed that the ultra-wealthy often choose set-phrases available on the website like “easy-going,” “open-minded” and “long-term.” This suggests that wealthy people are looking for partners who share their personality traits of low neuroticism and high openness. It also seems that the wealthy are rarely looking for a fling or something casual.

“Ultra-wealthy singles, more so than most, value deep emotional connections and seek genuine and trustworthy partners because they are often surrounded by those who want something from them, namely their wealth or what their wealth may provide,” Wade elaborated.

This explains why the set-phrase “discrete” was extremely popular among individuals over a certain wealth class.

3. Beauty Isn’t Only Skin Deep When You Are Dating A One-Percenter

Although ultra-wealthy single men seem to prefer fit women who have a slim to curvy body type, physical attractiveness wasn’t a deal-breaker, according to the study. Low education, on the other hand, was.

“Partners are chosen because of the nature of the word. A partnership is about more than looks — it’s about finding that connection, one that you trust, and one that nurtures both of your minds,” Wade said.

While Seeking.com data showed that the ultra-wealthy favored matches with at least a college education, results from a study conducted using a popular dating app in China showed that men visited women’s profiles regardless of their level of education. This contrast is one of the things that may differentiate the wealthy from the rest of the population when it comes to attraction.

4. The Wealthy Are Not Bound By Geography

People over a certain level of income are likely to lead a more global lifestyle. In many cases, they may even own multiple homes around the world.

This cosmopolitan streak is attractive to wealthy people, and they actively seek others who are like them. This means they are likely open to long-distance relationships. Although this may seem like an inferior way of building a connection, we know that couples in long distance relationships can be just as happy as couples who share the same geography.

A study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found that long-distance couples and couples who lived close did not differ significantly in terms of how happy they were in their relationship. What predicted relationship quality, however, were individual and relationship characteristics.

5. Wealthy People Like To Date Other Accomplished People

One-percenters are three times as likely as other members of Seeking.com to opt for the highest membership tier.

“The very wealthy are looking at their investment in relationships and their dating lives with the same scrutiny as they’re looking at their businesses. There’s a certain gamble in it, just like when you’re playing the stock market. The thing that’s most precious, and can’t ever be recouped, is time,” Wade comments.

Their ability to afford the membership notwithstanding, the wealthy seem to be cutting straight to the chase — minimizing risks of dating people who may not share the same worldview as them.

Conclusion

It’s clear that the world of luxury dating is about more than surface level attraction — it’s a complex interplay of matching lifestyles, values and expectations.

Credit: Psychology Today

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