Every year we hear or see number of sex tape leakage. Funny enough it doesn’t stop because, during the making of those tapes, the person or the people do not believe that it can leak.
Why do people continue to make sex tapes despite all the leakages? Do people deliberately leak their own videos or pictures?
Most people have, at some point or another, wondered what they look like while having sex.
Modern technology provides us with ample opportunity to find out; positioning your smartphone somewhere in your room is a lot easier than having to dig out a proper video camera and stand before getting down to business.
It’s not purely sex either; people are filming themselves masturbating and doing other sexual acts that don’t include penetration, and then sending these to their lovers or partners.
What is it about filming ourselves doing something dirty that turns us on so much? We ask the experts.
There are psychological reasons why people love to record themselves having sex. One is self-eroticism, narcissism, and voyeurism. Self-eroticism is when you get turned on by watching yourself have sex. Many people typically use their partners as props and objects when the main focus is on themselves.
Watching themselves over again in that same position can cause them to feel aroused. This self-eroticism is linked with narcissism, which is excessive love for oneself and wanting to see oneself idealised in a sexual position. There is also a faint chance that it is done for notoriety, popularity, and clout in the aftermath of the sex tape. Notwithstanding all of these, the risk of having your sex taped remains. Some have said it is nothing to feel shameful about. Sex is a normal activity, and people shouldn’t be ashamed of it.
Compared to the videotaping, the actual sex act is far more risky.
Annabelle Knight, who is the sex and relationships expert at Lovehoney, tells Metro.co.uk that there’s a very simple reason behind why we’re obsessed with filming ourselves.
‘More people are filming themselves having sex with their partner because it is fun,’ said Annabelle.
‘Let’s face it, our whole lives are captured on our smart phones, so why not sex, too? Lots of couples get off on watching themselves afterwards on film and having sex again because they are so turned on.
‘And if you are going to dress up in sexy outfits for a session, of course you are going to want footage of the action.’
A study by the dating site for people who want to have an affair, Illicit Encounters, revealed that one third of couples have filmed themselves having sex, and three quarters of participants stated they had used their phones to ‘enhance’ their sex lives, either by taking photos or watching erotic videos (which could be their own or, of course, porn).
But if you’re considering doing it yourself, there are some do’s and don’ts.
Annabelle recommends not mixing alcohol and sex filming, as well as making sure you’re with someone you trust to keep the footage private.
‘It is not a good idea to get the cameras out with a new partner or someone you don’t trust completely.’
‘Who knows where the footage might end up? You just don’t know who they will be sharing it with.
‘By all means, film with someone you trust but on the strict agreement that you both delete the footage in the event of a split.’
Keep in mind, however, should someone shares a video of you and you have not consented for them to do so, you can report it to the police.
1. BLACKMAILING
Some people influence or coerce their partners to take nude pictures or make a sex tape for them in the name of love but the actual avenger is to use it against their partner at the right time. Some people intentionally do this with an influential person, a public figure or somebody who is rich and later demand for a ransom or circulate the video or picture.
Some people also use it to threaten their partners when they realize there is going to be a breakup or if the other partner hurt them. They tend to circulate to shame or disgrace their ex.
2. SELF ADMIRATION
Some people do this just to relax and admire their own unique shape or skin. They do this alone usually and the intention is not for anybody else to see…but sometimes mistakes are made and the unexpected happens.
3. ORGASM LOOK
Some people have heard from their sexual partners several times that they look different or make certain expressions. Out of curiosity, they tend to make a sex tape so they can see for themselves. The intention to watch after the act alone or with the partner….but sometimes it is not deleted and falls into the hands of a wrong person.
4. LDR GAP
Some people in Long Distance Relationship who gets bored or lonely ask their partners to make a sex tape or nude pictures and send to make up for the gap between them which prevents physical contact. Some do and exchange them with their partners. It is meant for just the two but somehow it crosses boundaries.
5. BUSINESS
Some people do it for commercial purposes so they make such tapes to tease their clients to request for more at a fee. Some do it to market themselves telling the world that they are here (ashawo fuo wo krom). These people do not care about where it gets to but rather it’s their gain to have it circulated.
6. FUN
Some people just do it for the fun of it. Usually females, and it’s either done by an individual or group especially on campus. People dance naked and take pictures or make videos and others do naked modeling or catwalk so they can later sit and enjoy how crazy they can be. Sometimes roommates or friends use their phone and take these videos or pictures and end up mistakenly or deliberately with other friends and it keeps spreading. Some use their own phones but forget to delete and give the phone to somebody who wants to watch pictures and chance upon PICTURES and they steal and spread.
7. MASTURBATION
In this particular instance, it could be because of long distance or even short distance. Some people are naturally addicted to pornography and masturbate after watching or during. These people tend to request or demand sex tapes from their partners so they can use it to masturbate.
8. BRIBE
Some people specially prepare and take such pictures and send to people in authority or with certain positions to get their attention. Some send and later apologize by saying it’s not meant for them but in actual fact it is. If the person gets interested then the game is on. Some do this to get jobs, grades etc.
9. APPRECIATION
Some people get helped in various ways and are asked to show appreciation by taking such pictures or videos. Some people send such pictures voluntarily to say thank you.
10. EXHIBITIONISM
Some people naturally enjoy exposing their private part to strangers or those they know. They attain some form of sexual satisfaction when they are able to surprise or shock their viewers.
Stu Nugent, a sex expert at Lelo, believes there is another reason why we like making sex tapes: self-eroticism’.
‘Perhaps we’re all narcissists at heart: we all want to see ourselves as sexual, and by filming ourselves, we can do that literally, over and over again,’ he tells Metro.co.uk.
‘But it’s not a new thing. It’s just masturbating in the mirror in the digital age.
‘There’s something intensely intimate about self-eroticism, and there’s something inherently sexy about watching yourself having sex while you’re having sex. It’s all very meta.’
Dr Becky Spelman, relationship expert at We-Vibe, agrees that there may be a level of narcissism in filming or watching yourself have sex or masturbate.
However, she explains that this may run deeper than just being egocentric; some people just find sexual pleasure in themselves, rather than their partner.
‘First of all, we live in an image- and porn-saturated world, and many of us are intensely involved with social media,’ said Becky.
‘For people who grew up in this environment, creating erotic images of themselves can seem like a normal, ordinary extension of how they live so much of their lives online.
‘In some cases, a desire to see oneself engaged in sexual activity on the screen can involve auto-eroticism, or a tendency to find sexual pleasure in oneself, rather than in others.
‘In these cases, the person viewing themselves engaged in sexual activity with someone else is actually turned on by the images of themselves, and the other individual involved is equivalent to a sex toy or another prop.
‘Sometimes there is a narcissistic element to watching oneself on screen, too. People who are narcissistic can display a rather egotistical tendency to admire an idealised version of their self-image and their attributes, including their sexual attributes.
‘In fact, for people of this bent, looking at moving images of themselves having sex can be a challenge to their narcissism, because the reality of their body’s appearance and sexual prowess might not live up to the idealised version in their minds.’
The most important aspect of creating a sex tape is that both parties want to do so.
Some people may feel pressured into filming their sex life by their partner or to create a video for someone they’re chatting to because they’re consistently asking or threatening not to keep talking to them, unless they do.
Remember that sex tapes are meant to turn both people on, not act as an incentive. If someone doesn’t respect that or says they’ll lose interest in you for saying no, they’re not worth your attention.
And as for the practical stuff—which position, where to do it, and what lighting is best—try your way. As such, the question should be, Why do girls… since for any guy, there is a huge incentive to have themselves videotaped. It shows other girls that somebody is willing to fuck you…. and she lets herself be videotaped. Social proof. If the guy is actually good with sex, has a good body, etc., good for him. The next reason is vanity, or narcissism. True for both sexes. The same reason people take selfies is that nobody gives a fuck about a selfie (I think I’m wrong here), certainly not a guy’s selfie. Why do some men and women do it?
I’m veering on the side of: They want to show themselves off (to other men {and women}); again, this is the same reason they dress up nicely and take selfies.
But the problem with that logic is that it shows them having sex with a man, which technically should lower their values in front of other men. So it doesn’t add up with evolutionary game theory.
Also, having your senses intact is important, when either of you is not in their right senses, either through drugs or alcohol, consent cannot be obtained. Thus, you shouldn’t record a sex tape.
Lastly, store it properly, remove it from your phone to a safer device, or just delete it when you are done watching it.
In the event of a breakup or split, both parties must agree to delete all copies of the tape and not share it with anyone.
At the end of the day, making a sex tape seems to be more trouble than it is worth, but people will still do it regardless.
NB: If you see a trap you are familiar with it helps you develop the best exit strategy…hence my reason for this message.
Sometimes you may have a very good intention of doing things like this but when it comes to the internet or social media we do not have full control.
Remember that WHAT GOES ON THE INTERNET, REMAINS ON THE INTERNET.
Don’t allow your ugly past to haunt or hunt you down one day in your life. Don’t be misled….think twice and be wise.
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credits
https://metro.co.uk/2019/05/22/obsessed-filming-sex
https://www.ghanastar.com/news/1
https://allure.vanguardngr.com/2021/10/why-do-people-make-sex-tape