There’s a void in the ungrateful that cannot be filled. Those who experience this void will spend their time and energy and resource in the quest to fill it. They will chase after more material things, more relationships, more money, more thrills, more admiration — more of just about anything. But no matter how much they spend to fill the void, it will only grow because the only cure is the one thing they don’t have — gratitude and the peace and serenity that follows it.
One of our favorite maxims is “show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are.” It goes hand-in-hand with another proverb that says, “what you behold, you become.” Ungrateful people are likely to attract ungrateful friends, and the more they surround themselves with people who are self-centered and entitled, unappreciative and rude, the more their character is likely to spiral downward.
Ungratefulness can also distort a person’s ego. In its purest form, the ego is simply a person’s sense of identity, especially in relationship to the world around him or her. We want our children to grow up with a healthy ego, a strong sense of self worth. We want them to know that they are worthy of love and connection and that they have value and significance. But true self worth recognizes an equal value in all people.We have come a long way from “children should be seen and not heard.” But in some ways, the pendulum has swung so far in the other direction that an alien visiting our society might think we worship our children.
We put our kids on a pedestal, pouring most of our time, attention and resource into their well being, and for the most part our intentions are pure. We want our kids to live their best lives.
But if we are not careful to cultivate gratitude in their hearts, we can inadvertently set them up for a host of problems.For starters, ungratefulness can lead to a sense of entitlement — an assumption that the world owes them something. They can grow up believing that they are entitled to a great career, entitled to an extravagant lifestyle, entitled to be served rather than be expected to work hard, live frugally and serve their community.
Gratitude is not something that can be manufactured. Setting aside at day to be thankful is not going to automatically make us grateful.Another trick we use to try to manufacture gratitude is to compare ourselves to others less fortunate. Maybe you have seen this list which has circulated on the internet the last few years:If you have food in your fridge, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of the world.If you have money in the bank, your wallet, and some spare change you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy.If you woke up this morning with more health than illness you are more blessed than the million people who will not survive this week.If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the agony of imprisonment or torture, or the horrible pangs of starvation you are luckier than 500 million people alive and suffering.If you can read this message you are more fortunate than 3 billion people in the world who cannot read it at all.Gratitude cannot be manufactured by guilt. We might think that the more we have, the more thankful we will be. But those who are given more are often the least grateful. Those with less are often the most grateful. It is backwards from the way that we think it should be.
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https://www.montgomeryadvertiser.com/story/life/2018/11/13/ungratefulness-can-distort-persons-ego/1993330002/
Giving up Ungratefulness