We can say we are ‘being playful’ when we are flirting with or teasing someone. But playfulness in adults is seen as something far more complex and important by psychologists. In fact it has been the subject of quite a bit of research, and there are several models attempting to pin down an exact explanation of how it works. The most recent definition making the rounds is by a team of European researchers led by German psychologist René T. Proyer. They suggest that, “Those using playfulness ‘frame or reframe everyday situations in a way such that they experience them as entertaining, and/or intellectually stimulating, and/or personally interesting. Those on the high end of this dimension seek and establish situations in which they can interact playfully with others (e.g., playful teasing, shared play activities) and they are capable of using their playfulness even under difficult situations to resolve tension (e.g., in social interactions, or in work type settings).” Proyer’s team even created a questionnaire to ‘test’ playfulness, the ‘OLIW’. This acronym stands for what is seen as the four main components of adult playfulness. These are:
Other-directed (using playfulness to have fun interactions with others, to ease tension, to cheer people up)
Lighthearted (see life as play, like to make things up as you go)
Intellectual (creative thinking, word play, brainstorming)
Whimsical (like the odd and unusual, choose to see things from a fun perspective).
Playing is just as important for adults as it is for children. Among its many benefits, adult play can boost your creativity, sharpen your sense of humor, and help you cope better with stress.
| Other-directed | The facet of other-directed playfulness is characterized by the use of playful behaviors in social situations. High scorers use playfulness to ease tense situations, and cheer other people up, they enjoy horsing around with friends and engage, generally, in a playful interaction style with other people | “I enjoy re-enacting things with close friends that we have experienced together (e.g., a funny incident that we like to remember)” |
| Lighthearted | The facet of lighthearted playfulness is characterized by a spontaneous, carefree view of life. High scorers do not think much about possible consequences of their behavior but prefer and enjoy improvising in comparison with elaborate preparation | “Many people take their lives too seriously; when things don’t work you just have to improvise” |
| Intellectual | The facet of intellectual playfulness is characterized by the enjoyment of playing with ideas. High scorers like to puzzle over problems and to come up with new, creative solutions for problems | “I do not like tasks where you have to try a few things out and have to puzzle something out, before arriving at a good solution” (R) |
| Whimsical | The facet of whimsical playfulness is characterized by a preference for breaking ranks. High scorers are amused by oddities and have a preference for extraordinary things and people. Others often regard them as extravagant | “I like to surround myself with unusual people or objects” |
We all know that play is important for children. Kids need play to develop and we automatically add play time into their daily schedules. Research shows that play is critical for adults’ well-being too — but many of us don’t play enough anymore.
Anything you do recreationally that brings you joy or excitement counts as playing, whether it’s getting stuck into a video game, playing sports, collecting stamps, or writing short stories in your spare time.
Whatever style of play works for you, know that making time for it can have substantial benefits for your mental and physical well-being.
What Is Adult Playfulness?
We can say we are ‘being playful’ when we are flirting with or teasing someone. But playfulness in adults is seen as something far more complex and important by psychologists. In fact it has been the subject of quite a bit of research, and there are several models attempting to pin down an exact explanation of how it works. The most recent definition making the rounds is by a team of European researchers led by German psychologist René T. Proyer. They suggest that, “Those using playfulness ‘frame or reframe everyday situations in a way such that they experience them as entertaining, and/or intellectually stimulating, and/or personally interesting. Those on the high end of this dimension seek and establish situations in which they can interact playfully with others (e.g., playful teasing, shared play activities) and they are capable of using their playfulness even under difficult situations to resolve tension (e.g., in social interactions, or in work type settings).”
Tentative model of the potential consequences of adult playfulness for romantic relationships (dotted lines indicate potential mediator/moderator effects)
Aren’t Playful People Childish And Annoying?
Proyer et. al point out that, “Playfulness is also associated with a preference for complexity rather than simplicity and a preference for—and liking of—unusual activities, objects and topics, or individuals.” Also note that you don’t have to be extroverted or wild to be playful. As seen in the OLIW acronym above, playfulness can be in the way choose to think and see the world, not just in how we come across.
Why Is Playfulness Important To Wellbeing?
As children, and even in animals like primates, it’s clear the effect play has. It helps with learning, in building social structures and bonds, and also helps them physically, such as with balance and coordination. But what about in grownups? Research shows a seriously impressive list of benefits for adult playfulness. These include: coping better with difficult experiences having a a wider perspective on things like work performance, creativity and staying motivated academic success feeling more confident and less of an impostor just generally feeling good. And in one of their most recent studies Proyer’s team also looked at how playfulness affects our physical health. They found a connection between being playful and having good cardiorespiratory fitness and physical strength.
What Playfulness Can Do For Your Relationships?
Playfulness in relationships can be a very positive thing. It can: help us bond with others, reduce conflict and tension, be a safer way to communicate and find shared meaning promote intimacy, improve sexual satisfaction, make us visible and attractive to others, help us have positive emotions like joy and glee.
A 2021 Brazilian study took this research a bit further and looked at whether those with playfulness traits had more relationships than others. Men whose playfulness manifested more as ‘other directed’ were found to have more long and short-term relationships. For women, ‘whimsical playfulness’ led to more short-term relationships. This supports an older study by American researchers that suggested playfulness is a desired characteristic in partners as it is seen as a sign of non-aggressiveness in men, and a sign of youth and fertility in women.
So How Can I Get More Adult Playfulness Into My Life?
So what can you do if playfulness doesn’t seem a natural personality trait for you? How can you improve your playfulness game?
1. Make more time for kids and pets. An easy entry into play is those who do it effortlessly, namely kids and pets. Take time to engage more with the kids and pets around you and let yourself enjoy the interactions fully, instead of your mind off being off thinking about other things.
2. Work with mindfulness. Speaking of a wandering mind. Playful people are present-focused people, able to catch the small moments in front of them and notice the joy and humour around them. The more you can get your mind out of being so trapped by worry and regret, the more playful you can be. Mindfulness is the art of learning to be in the present, and it’s free and easy to learn (try our free guide to mindfulness as a starting point).
3. Make play a serious commitment. We can tend to put off playfulness off as the last thing on the agenda. But looking at all of the above benefits, we are undoubtedly making a mistake if we do. So it can be about taking playfulness seriously enough we schedule it in our diaries as a non negotiable, over am ‘if I have time’. This can mean scheduling empty space in your diary to go and have impromptu fun and adventure, or to ‘hang out’ with your kids or friends.
4. Get out of your comfort zone. Instantly say ‘no’ to everything? Sometimes we have trained ourselves to avoid anything that requires us to push ourselves a little. But play requires that slight effort. And we can often be surprised at how much fun something we just mindlessly said no to again and again can be, whether that is actually going to the salsa night your friend has mentioned a hundred times, or as simple as sitting up top and front of the bus like your kids keep begging to.
5. Work at caring less what others think. Sometimes we say we are ‘just introverted’ but the truth is we are more just worried what others would think if we dared to not be perfect or seem serious. But most people are so busy worrying about themselves and their own issues they don’t think about others. Or, if they do, it’s forgotten quickly. So next time your friend breaks into song in public and that old ‘oh my gosh I can’t dare join in as what are people thinking’ thought rises? Give it a go. By the time the others on the street get home you will be forgotten, but the joy you might find in that singing moment will stay.
Why is play important for adults?
Researchers say that play is critical for child development, and studies show it’s important for adults, too. Playfulness as an adult has many benefits for our well-being and character.
1. Boosts your overall well-being
A 2011 study discusses how playfulness in adults may be linked to certain desirable characteristics, such as liking to make people laugh, the ability to ease tension, and being able to support creative processes in a group.
The researchers asked people to rate themselves on five types of “playful behaviors”: spontaneous, expressive, creative, fun, and silly. They found that higher playfulness scores were associated with:
- higher creativity
- appreciating beauty
- approaching life with excitement and energy
- playful expressions of love
- a sense of hope
- sense of humor
The authors concluded that because of these links, playfulness significantly contributed to overall well-being.
A 2013 study has also positively linked play and playfulness with well-being and life satisfaction. The research showed that playful adults tended to do more enjoyable activities and have a more active way of life than less playful adults.
2. Helps you cope with stress
Spending time doing things that bring you joy and pleasure has a relaxing effect that counteracts stress.
A 2013 study found that playful adults reported having lower stress levels. Play also helped them use healthier coping styles like acceptance and positive reframing.
The authors found that even though playful and less-playful adults were equipped with the same coping skills, playful adults were more likely to use them effectively.
3. Boosts your physical health
Adults who play more may have a more active wau of life, and therefore may be physically healthier.
The authors of a 2016 studyTrusted Source stressed the importance of making physical activity “fun” for adults. They noticed that children were more likely to be intrinsically motivated to exercise when having fun, like jumping and playing in the water. In other words, when exercise feels like play instead of hard work, adults are more likely to engage in it.
A 2019 studyTrusted Source found that playing every day helped people with type 1 diabetes in many different ways, including:
- improved mood
- feeling more supported
- sharing more frequently with their partner about how diabetes affects them
All in all, the research is abundantly clear: Playing as an adult has significant benefits for our mental and physical health.
How to be more playful
Unlike children, most adults don’t have regular playtime built into their schedule. That means we need to be intentional about play and find ways to incorporate more play into our lives. Here are some tips to get you started.
1. Find your play personality
Dr Stuart Brown, researcher and founder of The National Institute for Play, has identified eight “play personalities” that can help you find out what kinds of play work best for you:
- The Collector: You enjoy building collections, such as stamps or vintage cars.
- The Competitor: You enjoy playing (and winning) games with specific rules, like playing for a neighborhood soccer league.
- The Creator or Artist: You find joy in making things, or making things work. You might enjoy doodling, woodworking, decorating, fixing machinery, or sewing.
- The Director: You enjoy planning and directing, like hosting themed birthday parties.
- The Explorer: You play by discovering something new, either physically (a new place) or mentally. You might play by going on a vacation to a new place or discovering a new type of music.
- The Joker: You enjoy being silly and foolish. You might enjoy improv theatre or simply making your friends laugh.
- The Kinesthete: You enjoy moving your body as play. You might practice yoga or take a dance class for fun.
- The Storyteller: You play by listening to or creating stories. You might enjoy going to the theater or writing in a journal.
2. Play as exercise
One of the main benefits of playing as an adult is that it automatically makes you more physically active — and regular exercise has many mental health benefits.
Rather than viewing exercise as a chore that you need to complete, try thinking of fun and playful ways to exercise. For example:
- Instead of swimming laps, you might have a swimming or diving contest with your children or friends.
- Instead of going for a jog, you might play tag or ultimate frisbee.
- Instead of lifting weights, you might go to a rock climbing gym.
3. Get into a play mindset
Playing is just as much about your mindset as it is about the activity you’re doing.
As Dr Brown says, two people could be throwing a ball back and forth, and one person could be playing while the other person isn’t. It’s important to get into the right mindset to be more playful.
Dr Browns’ book, “Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul,” defines the play state as a “state of mind that one has when absorbed in an activity that provides enjoyment and a suspension of sense of time.”
Try to get into this state of mind as often as you can.
4. Make more time for kids and pets.
An easy entry into play is those who do it effortlessly, namely kids and pets. Take time to engage more with the kids and pets around you and let yourself enjoy the interactions fully, instead of your mind off being off thinking about other things.
5. Work with mindfulness.
Speaking of a wandering mind. Playful people are present-focused people, able to catch the small moments in front of them and notice the joy and humour around them. The more you can get your mind out of being so trapped by worry and regret, the more playful you can be. Mindfulness is the art of learning to be in the present, and it’s free and easy to learn (try our free guide to mindfulness as a starting point).
6. Make play a serious commitment.
We can tend to put off playfulness off as the last thing on the agenda. But looking at all of the above benefits, we are undoubtedly making a mistake if we do. So it can be about taking playfulness seriously enough we schedule it in our diaries as a non negotiable, over am ‘if I have time’. This can mean scheduling empty space in your diary to go and have impromptu fun and adventure, or to ‘hang out’ with your kids or friends.
7. Get out of your comfort zone.
Instantly say ‘no’ to everything? Sometimes we have trained ourselves to avoid anything that requires us to push ourselves a little. But play requires that slight effort. And we can often be surprised at how much fun something we just mindlessly said no to again and again can be, whether that is actually going to the salsa night your friend has mentioned a hundred times, or as simple as sitting up top and front of the bus like your kids keep begging to.
8. Work at caring less what others think.
Sometimes we say we are ‘just introverted’ but the truth is we are more just worried what others would think if we dared to not be perfect or seem serious. But most people are so busy worrying about themselves and their own issues they don’t think about others. Or, if they do, it’s forgotten quickly. So next time your friend breaks into song in public and that old ‘oh my gosh I can’t dare join in as what are people thinking’ thought rises? Give it a go. By the time the others on the street get home you will be forgotten, but the joy you might find in that singing moment will stay.
References
- Proyer, R. T. (2011). Being playful and smart? The relations of adult playfulness with psychometric and self-estimated intelligence and academic performance. Learning and Individual Differences, 21, 463–467. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.lindif.2011.02.003ViewWeb of Science®Google Scholar
- Proyer, R. T. (2012). Development and initial assessment of a short measure for adult playfulness: The SMAP. Personality and Individual Differences, 53, 989–994. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2012.07.018ViewWeb of Science®Google Scholar
- Proyer, R. T. (2014a). Perceived functions of playfulness in adults: Does it mobilize you at work, rest, and when being with others? European Review of Applied Psychology, 64, 241–250. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.erap.2014.06.001ViewWeb of Science®Google Scholar
- Proyer, R. T. (2014b). To love and play: Testing the association of adult playfulness with the relationship personality and relationship satisfaction. Current Psychology, 33, 501–514. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-014-9225-6ViewWeb of Science®Google Scholar
- Proyer, R. T. (2017). A new structural model for the study of adult playfulness: Assessment and exploration of an understudied individual differences variable. Personality and Individual Differences, 108, 113–122. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.12.011ViewWeb of Science®Google Scholar
- Proyer, R. T. (2018). Playfulness and humor in psychology: An overview and update. HUMOR: International Journal of Humor Research, 31, 259–271. https://doi.org/10.1515/humor-2016-0080ViewWeb of Science®Google Scholar
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