The term egocentric is a concept that originated within Piaget’s theory of childhood development. Egocentrism refers to someone’s inability to understand that another person’s view or opinion may be different than their own. It represents a cognitive bias, in that someone would assume that others share the same perspective as they do, unable to imagine that other people would have a perception of their own. Although most people grow out of this egocentric mindset, we are aware that others do not and that they tend to bring some of these same self-focused traits in their adult lives and relationships.
By
Jodi Clarke, MA, LPC/MHSP
The development of the concept of egocentrism in the context of Piaget’s theory
The roots of the concept of egocentrism can be traced back to Freud’s influence on Piaget. While he was in Zurich (1918–1919) and Paris (1919–1921), Piaget studied various schools of psychoanalysis (Freud, Jung, Adler). Based on Freud’s concepts of primary process (i.e., the mode of functioning in service of the immediate gratification of needs) and secondary process (i.e., the regulation and control of needs to attend to the demands of reality), Piaget (1920) initially distinguished between autistic and logical, scientific thought, and in 1922 he introduced the concept of egocentrism as an intermediary level between these modes of thought.1 However, Piaget soon distanced himself from Freud’s concept of primary process, and the meticulous study of his own infants led to a thoroughgoing revision of the concept of egocentrism. From the mid-1930s on, egocentrism was conceptualized as a phenomenon that reoccurs at the beginning of different developmental stages.
Piaget’s revised theory of egocentrism
By the mid- 1930s, Piaget had fundamentally revised his concept of egocentrism. This revision emerged slowly in Piaget’s work. It encompasses two different aspects. First, the concept of “imitation” (used, for example, in Piaget, 1924/1972) was replaced with that of “accommodation.” Second, Piaget no longer considered egocentrism a stage intermediate between autism and logical thought but as a phenomenon that reoccurs at different stages in development. This change in the concept of egocentrism resulted from Piaget’s work on infant development.
In a paper on the development of causality in the first year of life – a paper that was based on the observation of his daughter Lucienne (born 1925) – before the British Psychological Society in 1927, Piaget (1927–1928/1977, p. 203) acknowledged the adaptive function of accommodation, but he compared assimilation to the activity of dreams that “deform things in order to satisfy its desire.”
The Freud’s Perspective on Egocenntrism
During his stay in Paris, Piaget was asked to lecture to the Alfred Binet Society on the topic of psychoanalysis (Harris, 1997, Kesselring, 1999). In his lecture, Piaget (1920) discussed basic concepts of three different psychoanalytic approaches, namely, the theories of Freud, Adler, and the Zurich School of psychoanalysis (i.e., Jung, Pfister). Following Freud, Piaget (1920, p. 23) distinguished between two different modes of thinking: autistic or symbolic thinking, on one hand, and scientific or logical thinking on the other. The concepts of autistic and logical thinking are modeled on Freud’s ideas of primary and secondary process. Autistic thinking obeys the pleasure principle and is “personal, incommunicable, … confused, undirected, indifferent to truth, rich in visual and symbolic schemas, and above all, unconscious of itself and by the affective factors by which it was guided” (1924/1972, pp. 204–205). It is characteristic of “the child, the neurotic person, the dreamer, the artist, and the mystic” (Piaget, 1920, p. 23, our translation). In the conclusion of his discussion of the different psychoanalytic approaches, Piaget (1920, p. 57) suggested that an important task of psychology is to study individual differences in the relations between autistic thought and rational thought:
In fact, it [Freudian theory] gives to the infant narcissist the qualities of an adult in love with himself and aware of it, as if the infant could clearly distinguish his self from others.… If he is in love with himself, it is not because he knows his self, but because he ignores all that is outside his dream and his desires. Narcissism, that is to say, absolute egocentricity, certainly gives rise to magical conviction, but only in so far as it implies absence of consciousness of self (Piaget, 1926/1929, pp. 151–152).
Egocentricism and Magical Thinking As Infantile Behaviour
Egocentric thinking is the normal tendency for a young child to see everything that happens as it relates to him- or herself. This is not selfishness. Young children are unable to understand different points of view. For example, a preschool child might sympathize with his or her father and try to comfort him by offering a favorite toy or stuffed animal, reasoning that what helps the child feel better will also comfort the adult. Egocentric thinking also can cause a young child to feel responsible if something bad happens.
Magical thinking is a child’s belief that what he or she wishes or expects can affect what really happens. For example, if a child wants very much for something to happen, and it does, the child believes he or she caused it to happen. If your daughter is mad at her brother and wants him to leave, and he then gets sick and goes to the hospital, your daughter may think her brother’s illness is her fault.
Egocentric vs. Narcissistic
Since the term egocentric describes someone who is self-focused and unable to imagine any other perspective than their own, you might wonder if this is the same thing as narcissism. Although there are some parallels, there is a distinct difference between egocentric and narcissistic personalities.
Some of the similarities between egocentric and narcissistic include:
- Focus on own perception and opinion
- Lack of empathy
- Inability to recognize needs of others
- Excessive thoughts of how others might view them
- Decision-making around the needs of self
In addition to these traits, however, narcissistic people also demonstrate:
- Excessive need for recognition and admiration
- View self as extraordinarily worthy or important
- Sense of entitlement
- Manipulate others to get what they want
- Arrogant and pretentious behaviors
- Preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, or beauty
A primary difference between being egocentric and narcissism is that someone who is narcissistic constantly seeks admiration from others with a need to feel important and valued.1
Keep in mind that we all may have egocentric and narcissistic tendencies, but specific criteria need to be met in order for someone to have a clinical diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder.
Impact of Egocentrism
Egocentric people can find it difficult to connect with others or maintain meaningful relationships for a long period of time. The bias toward self can result in an egocentric person struggling at home, at work, and within their intimate relationships.2
The primary reason for these struggles is the lack of ability to empathize or imagine someone’s perspective other than their own. As you can imagine, this might negatively impact things like:
- Trust
- Closeness or intimacy
- Emotional attunement
- Decision making
- Collaboration
- Teamwork
It can feel challenging to be around someone who is egocentric because you feel invisible or feel that you have no voice when spending time with them.
Some of the ways being around an egocentric person might impact us include feelings of:
- Low Self-Worth: When we feel irrelevant we are left feeling low as if our opinions don’t matter
- Self-Doubt: You may question your own judgment or perception
- Confusion: You may wonder if the person recognizes their egocentric ways
- Sadness: You may feel sorry for the person or sad for yourself after interacting with them
- Anger: It can be difficult to practice assertiveness with an egocentric person, which can lead to frustration and anger over not feeling seen or heard
- Resentment: After a time, you might find yourself bitter toward them for the ways they behave and how you feel after interactions
- Detachment: Unfortunately, if the pattern continues, you may desire to move away from the person as much as you can in order to protect your sense of self.
There may be times when you can simply choose to limit your exposure to an egocentric person, however, there are many situations in which it is not an option and you have to learn how to take care of yourself while in their presence.
Egocentrics in Relationships
For the egocentric person, life can feel isolating and anxiety-producing. When living with a cognitive bias, an egocentric person may believe that all eyes are on them and that every move or decision they make is noticed by others.
This can create a tremendous amount of pressure for that person, causing anxiety around their decision making and social interactions. Even when they want to connect with others they may not know how to do that or may make efforts to connect and become confused as to why their efforts don’t work.
To be in a relationship with someone who is egocentric can feel very lonely and you might feel you are never seen, heard or valued in the relationship.
Your partner may make important decisions without you, make plans based on their needs and schedule, or seem distant or uninterested if you come to them with an emotional need for comfort, reassurance or encouragement. The egocentric partner may believe that the relationship is fine when their partner is often left feeling invisible and devalued.
Common Egocentric Traits
It is common for most people to have some level of egocentrism. Research has shown that adults tend to have egocentric shortcomings in the following ways:
- False Consensus Effect: When we overestimate how much other people share our perspective or preferences. We tend to think that others would agree with us or see things our way.3
- Curse of Knowledge: When those who are experts in their field tend to talk above people around them on that topic. They forget that there is a difference between the level of knowledge they have on the topic compared to those around them.
- Illusion of Transparency: When people feel that others can clearly see their emotional state in a given experience. For example, we might think that others can see how anxious we feel when we are giving a presentation at work.
- Spotlight Effect: When people overestimate how much others are noticing their presence or behaviors. We may walk into a room and feel like people are watching our every move when, in reality, they are casually interacting with each other and may not notice us at all.
How to Become Less Egocentric
Since we all have an egocentric slant to some degree we can all benefit from softening our egocentric edge. Being self-focused can be a benefit when we are trying to stick to our values or when we are feeling disrespected.
However, when an egocentric mindset begins to negatively impact our everyday behavior it can cause problems. There are helpful tips for becoming less egocentric
- Slow down. Sometimes we make decisions based out of fear. Fear likes to pressure us and force us to think in a very “flight or fight” way, even when we are not in the presence of danger. Slowing down can help you clarify what it is that needs to be decided, considering how your decision may impact those around you.
- Look around. We like to think that life is all about us. There are people around us who care and want to be a part of our lives and decision making. Look around and see who is standing by you and willing to help.
- Take a chance. Sometimes people become more egocentric because they have learned through experience that they cannot trust others to be there for them. As you look around and notice who is standing by you, take a chance to let someone show you what they can do. Not only are you practicing walking through your fears but allowing someone who cares about you to get close.
- Stay present. Just as some egocentric people have learned to not trust others, some have learned to never show vulnerability. Even if you make a decision and someone notices a misstep, keep moving. All of us want to live well and it never feels comfortable when others see our mistakes. Staying present allows you to practice navigating uncomfortable situations, learning that you can move through them and still be okay.
Concluding remarks
All of us are a bit egocentric at times. But, a truly egocentric person does not consider others and is heavily focused on needs and desires of self to the point of not being able to recognize or consider the opinions of others or to empathize.
Although it may feel that someone like this is narcissistic, an egocentric person does not necessarily obsess over things like success, beauty, or status. They simply don’t consider other people in their decision making.
It is important to emotionally take care of yourself if you happen to be around an egocentric person. Remember that their inability to consider your perspective or opinion is about their cognitive bias, not a result of anything you have done. Keeping a thoughtful distance from their behavior can help you emotionally protect yourself around an egocentric person.