Life is a struggle, and to meet this struggle, a person needs to be confident and independent. Those who always seek for other’s shoulder to rely on can never come up with this fast race of life. Most people depend on others. This dependency can be emotional, financial, or supportive, but the thing is that in the end, it leads you nowhere.You mustn’t be over-dependent on anyone for so many reasons. You must start learning to maintain your independence as soon as possible to avoid many problems. And don’t be over-dependent on anyone if you want to achieve something great in life as being dependent will act as a barrier in your success.You will encounter the inevitable changes in your personality if you start believing on your own instead of depending on others. It is time to struggle to make you independent and developed.
It isn’t always easy to see the signs of being too dependent, especially in ourselves, but a lot of us have developed some emotional habits that put us in a position to depend on others in some form or another. They say we all need somebody to lean on… but how much is too much, and how many of us depend on others to the point where we would collapse without them?
These signs are not always easy to read and identify with, because of course we all want to believe we can be independent and strong as an individual, so seeing a reflection in the mirror that tells us we exhibit dependent characteristics is going to bruise the ego a bit.Every person struggling with independence will one day reach a point when they realize they cannot climb any higher in life without taking a few steps alone, self-discovery. Those of us who battle with dependency issues can apply our dependent nature to all types of things, including:
Alcohol
Drugs
Food
Gambling
Shopping
Relationships
Activate your non-dependence attributes.
Be Confident
Confidence is the core element you should have to lead a meaningful and happy life. It can only be attained if you start depending on your intuitions and decisions instead of others. You must not look for someone always to determine the ways for you. This is something you can do better.Believe that this is your life, and you have to take those steps without anyone’s help, which can lead you towards a happy and prosperous life. Such though, it will boost up your confidence and performance in every sphere of life.
Decision power
It is your life, and you must understand the power of decision making for your own. It is not right to depend on others or to seek their assistance in everything related to you. Make calculations on your own as no one can think better for you than yourself.When you start believing in your inner strength and power, the decision power will become stronger. Eventually, you will become able to make decisions on your own by understanding the fact that no one is always there for you but yourself.
Speak well
You have a complete right to speak independently. You need to recognize the liberty of speech. Do not fear that you talk about the right stance; your argument will be rejected or refused. Instead of this, come up with productive discussions and thoughts which can influence the ideas of others. Your words can earn you much respect and prominence in any place you go to.Your words are your power, and you must not hesitate to speak because of anyone. It is not necessary always to accept other opinions as it is. You have the right to add more or refuse if you find a need.
Strong Personality
Personality development needs confidence and independence in your thought and actions. Pessimism is something you must throw away if you intend to make a strong and powerful person.In this way, you will start believing in yourself and can beat all kinds of complexes. Live as you want, and do not let others determine your goals. When you start considering things independently, you will be able to own a personality full of courage and willingness.
Do not Seek Approvals.
You do not need the approvals of everyone for whatever you do or want. Everyone has their own choices, thoughts, and course of action. Do not try to influence other decisions and also not let them affect yours.Whatever you are wearing or going, do not hesitate that what others will say or think. It is the best thing you can do to be independent and full of confidence.
So here are just 6 signs of being too dependent. Maybe some of these apply to you, and maybe that means it is time to sever some ties, take off the training wheels and find a way without depending on others for happiness, security and purpose.
- Can’t make everyday decisions on their own
Now before we get too far into this, appreciate the fact that of course if you’re going to make a major life decision that could alter the course of your future then I’m not giving you grief for talking it over and getting a variety of opinions from family and friends. By all means, crowd source the heavy stuff.
But with being too dependent we are talking about being incapable of making everyday decisions without someone else’s guidance, or every time the decision is made it is motivated by fear instead of logic.
- Fear of confrontation
The fear of confrontation follows along with a lot of the other fears of someone who struggles with being codependent, such as the fear of failure or the fear of making the wrong decisions on their own.
A person who is too dependent frequently does not feel worthy of having an opinion, especially one that differs from the opinion of someone else they feel they need, and to express that opinion seems even more impossible. If you notice yourself holding back on speaking your mind and standing for what you believe in because it might not work with someone else, it is a very real sign of being too dependent.
- Fear of failure
People who are too dependent tend to shy away from being exposed and vulnerable because it may cause others to realize how “worthless” they really are.
The fear of being a failure and having your weaknesses put on public display can cause immense anxiety for someone who is too dependent. For people used to depending on others it is easier to avoid failure by not taking initiative or following through with actions. People who are too dependent typically find themselves abandoning their goals before they even get started on the journey.
- Cannot be alone
Always expecting the worst is part of being too dependent, and this sense of impending dread often leads them to not feeling competent enough to live their own lives without others.
Being alone means being vulnerable and unprotected, which are both things overly dependent people will try to alleviate with the presence of other people… even if those other people are not good for them.
To someone who is overly dependent it is impossible to comprehend having to cope with whatever life throws at them on their own- so of course people who are too dependent rely on the stability and strength of others to see them through… even if those other people aren’t as stable or as strong as the dependent would believe.
- Always seeking approval
This may especially hard for a dependent person to acknowledge, because no one wants to admit they are a people pleaser. One was that people who are too dependent trick themselves into justifying their overly dependent and unhealthy behavior is by adopting the other person’s expectations as their own.
If the person struggling with being dependent “fails”, they assume it is a failure not only to the expectations of the other person but also their own, and thus each failure reinforces the detrimental judgment of self.
Dependent people crave validation and approval. Some would say a dependent person desires approval as desperately as an alcoholic craves a drink, so an alcoholic with a dependent personality in relationships has a lot standing against them.
- Lack of Boundaries
In most cases the only boundary the person has is to be included in the relationship they latch onto, and subsequently all other personal boundaries are unsolidified and traversable if it helps them keep their grip on that desired relationship.
This unhealthy and self-depreciating willingness to ignore or alter personal boundaries in order to maintain a relationship creates a vulnerability that some people look to exploit.
Some personality types are happy to find out how much a person is willing to give, then use them for all they have for as long as they can. The needs are never met, and the dependent person will never feel enough- this cycle is terrible and tragic, and so many people who have to rebuild emotionally due to drugs or alcohol tend to become overly dependent in some aspect of their life, putting them in greater danger than they realize.
sources
make me better.net
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