Science-Backed Secrets for Achieving Success in Life

Christina Desmarais of Inc. and Kendra Cherry, MSEd

But for simplicity’s sake, let’s assume the higher you are on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the better you’re doing. In case you don’t remember the levels from Psych 101, essentially, people can’t be their best possible selves (self-actualization) until lower-level needs are met first. In other words, you can’t be an ideal version of yourself if you don’t have enough food and money to pay the bills, or enough love and esteem to feel good about your value as a human being.

So, what can you do to move yourself up the pyramid?

Check out the findings from several studies, which shine a light on what it takes to achieve more in life.

1. Increase Your Confidence by Taking Action

Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, authors of The Confidence Code, wrote a stellar article for The Atlantic on this subject. Highlighting scads of studies that have found that a wide confidence gap exists between the sexes, they point out that success is just as dependent on confidence as it is on competence. Their conclusion? Low confidence results in inaction. “[T]aking action bolsters one’s belief in one’s ability to succeed,” they write. “So confidence accumulates—through hard work, through success, and even through failure.”

2. Broaden Your Definition of Authenticity

Authenticity is a much sought-after leadership trait, with the prevailing idea being that the best leaders are those who self-disclose, who are true to themselves, and who make decisions based on their values. Yet in a recent Harvard Business Review article titled “The Authenticity Paradox,” Insead professor Herminia Ibarra discusses interesting research on the subject and tells the cautionary tale of a newly promoted general manager who admitted to subordinates that she felt scared in her expanded role, asking them to help her succeed. “Her candor backfired,” Ibarra writes. “She lost credibility with people who wanted and needed a confident leader to take charge.” So know this: Play-acting to emulate the qualities of successful leaders doesn’t make you a fake. It merely means you’re a work in progress.

3. Improve Your Social Skills

According to research by University of California Santa Barbara economist Catherine Weinberger, the most successful business people excel in both cognitive ability and social skills, something that hasn’t always been true. She crunched data linking adolescent skills in 1972 and 1992 with adult outcomes, and found that in 1980, having both skills didn’t correlate with better success, whereas today the combination does. “The people who are both smart and socially adept earn more in today’s workforce than similarly endowed workers in 1980,” she says.

4. Train Yourself to Delay Gratification

The classic Marshmallow Experiment of 1972 involved placing a marshmallow in front of a young child, with the promise of a second marshmallow if he or she could refrain from eating the squishy blob while a researcher stepped out of the room for 15 minutes. Follow-up studies over the next 40 years found that the children who were able to resist the temptation to eat the marshmallow grew up to be people with better social skills, higher test scores, and lower incidence of substance abuse. They also turned out to be less obese and better able to deal with stress. But how to improve your ability to delay things like eating junk food when healthy alternatives aren’t available, or to remain on the treadmill when you’d rather just stop?

5. Demonstrate Passion and Perseverance for Long-Term Goals

Psychologist Angela Duckworth has spent years studying kids and adults and found that one characteristic is a significant predictor of success: grit. “Grit is having stamina. Grit is sticking with your future, day in, day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years, and working really hard to make that future a reality,” she said in a TED talk on the subject. “Grit is living life like it’s a marathon, not a sprint.”

6. Embrace a “Growth Mindset”

According to research conducted by Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck, how people view their personality affects their capacity for happiness and success. Those with a “fixed mindset” believe things like character, intelligence, and creativity are unchangeable, and avoiding failure is a way of proving skill and smarts.

People with a “growth mindset,” however, see failure as a way to grow and therefore embrace challenges, persevere against setbacks, learn from criticism, and reach higher levels of achievement. “Do people with this mindset believe that anyone can be anything, that anyone with proper motivation or education can become Einstein or Beethoven? No, but they believe that a person’s true potential is unknown (and unknowable); that it’s impossible to foresee what can be accomplished with years of passion, toil, and training,” she writes.

7. Invest in Your Relationships

After following the lives of 268 Harvard undergraduate males from the classes of 1938 to 1940 for decades, psychiatrist George Vaillant concluded something you probably already know: Love is the key to happiness. Even if a man succeeded in work, amassed piles of money, and experienced good health, without loving relationships he wouldn’t be happy, Vaillant found. The longitudinal study showed happiness depends on two things: “One is love,” he wrote. “The other is finding a way of coping with life that does not push love away.”

8. Build a Growth Mindset

Research by psychologist Carol Dweck suggests that there are two basic mindsets that influence how people think about themselves and their abilities: the fixed mindset and the growth mindset.¹

People who possess a fixed mindset believe that things such as intelligence are static and unchangeable. Those with a fixed mindset believe that success isn’t a result of hard work—it’s simply a consequence of innate talents.

What can you do to build a growth mindset?

Believe that your efforts matter. Rather than thinking their abilities are fixed or stuck, people who have a growth mindset believe that effort and hard work can lead to meaningful growth.
Learn new skills. When faced with a challenge, they look for ways to develop the knowledge and skills that they need to overcome and triumph.
View failures as learning experiences. People with growth mindsets don’t believe that failure is a reflection of their abilities. Instead, they view it as a valuable source of experience from which they can learn and improve. “That didn’t work,” they might think, “so this time I’ll try something a little different.”

9. Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

Overall intelligence has long been believed to be one factor contributing to success in different areas of life, but some experts suggest that emotional intelligence may actually matter even more.²

To improve your emotional intelligence:

Pay attention to your own emotions. Focus on identifying what you are feeling and what is causing those feelings.
Manage your emotions. Step back and try to view things with an impartial eye. Avoid bottling up or repressing your feelings, but look for healthy and appropriate ways of dealing with what you are feeling.
Listen to others. This not only involves hearing what they are saying, but also paying attention to nonverbal signals and body language.

10. Develop Mental Toughness

Mental toughness refers to the resilience to carry on and continue trying even in the face of obstacles.³ People who possess this mental strength see challenges as opportunities. They also feel that they have control over their own destiny, are confident in their abilities to succeed, and are committed to finishing what they start.

What can you do to improve your mental toughness and increase your chances of being successful in life?

Believe in yourself. Cut out negative self-talk and look for ways to stay positive and self-encouraging.
Keep trying. Even when things seem impossible or setbacks keep holding you back, focus on ways that you can develop your skills and keep soldiering forward. One of the key habits of successful people is always looking at setbacks or failures as learning opportunities.
Care for yourself. Staying strong also means that you treat yourself with kindness. Check in with yourself regularly to ensure you have the things you need to thrive.
Look for growth opportunities. Learning more about yourself and challenging yourself to try new things can provide opportunities for self-discovery.

11. Strengthen Your Willpower

In a long-running longitudinal study, psychologists followed a group of children who were identified by their teachers as highly intelligent. As they compared how these subjects fared throughout childhood and into adulthood, researchers found that those who ultimately were the most successful in life shared some key characteristics, including perseverance and willpower.⁴

Strategies you can use to improve your willpower include:

Distraction. For example, if you are trying to lose weight but are having a difficult time staying away from your favorite snacks, distracting yourself during your moments of weakness can be an effective way to avoid giving in to temptation.
Practice. Willpower is something you can build, but it takes time and effort. Start by making small goals that require will power to achieve, such as avoiding sugary snacks. As you build your ability to use your will power to achieve such small goals, you may find that your willpower is also stronger when working on much larger goals.

12. Focus on Intrinsic Motivations

What is it that motivates you the most? Do you find that the promise of external rewards keeps you reaching for your goals, or is it the more personal, intrinsic motivators that keep you feeling inspired? While extrinsic rewards such as money, awards, and praise can be helpful, many people find that they are most motivated when they are doing things for personal satisfaction.

What can you do to boost your sense of intrinsic motivation?

Challenge yourself. Pursuing a goal that is achievable but not necessarily easy, is a great way to increase motivation to succeed. Challenges can keep you interested in a task, improve your self-esteem, and offer feedback on areas you can improve on. Choosing a slightly challenging task will help motivate you to get started—it feels exciting!
Stay curious. Look for things that grab your attention and that you want to learn more about.
Take control. It can be difficult to stay intrinsically motivated to pursue a goal if you don’t feel that you have any real influence over the outcome. Look for ways that you can take an active role.
Don’t fear competition. There might be other people trying to reach the same goals as you, but this doesn’t mean you should give up. Don’t compare your progress or journey to anyone else’s. You can look to others for motivation and inspiration, but remember that we all have different paths.

13. Set Achievable Goals

Successful people know that they need to start by having attainable goals to achieve. These goals are not necessarily easy to reach, but by having something to aim for, you will be better able to move forward and overcome obstacles.

When setting goals:

Be as specific as possible: Choosing a goal like “I’m going to spend 20 minutes a day learning a new language” is more achievable than setting a general goal like “I’m going to learn French.”
Break your goal into smaller steps: Even if you select a specific goal, it can often seem difficult to achieve. Try breaking it into smaller steps that allow you to focus on moving forward without becoming overwhelmed.
Reward progress: Recognize your successes along the way and allow yourself to enjoy your accomplishments.

One of the biggest reasons people don’t follow through on their goals [is] because they aren’t what THEY want to do. Make sure your goals align with your personal values and needs, not what you ‘think’ you should do.

— DIVYA ROBIN, LMHC, PSYCHOTHERAPIST

14. Nurture Traits Linked to High Potential

According to some more recent research, there are certain traits that tend to be consistently tied to success.⁷

Conscientiousness

Conscientious people consider the effects of their actions. They also consider how other people will react and feel. You can nurture this trait by:

Thinking about the consequences of actions
Considering other people’s perspectives

15. Accepting of Ambiguity

Life is full of situations that are not always clear. People with a great deal of potential for success are better able to accept this ambiguity. Rather than being rigid and inflexible, they are ready to adapt when the unexpected comes their way. You can learn to embrace ambiguity by:

Challenging your perspectives and considering opinions and ideas other than your own
Not fearing the unfamiliar
Being willing to change
Valuing diversity

16. Capable of Adjustment

In addition to being able to accept ambiguity, success often hinges on the ability to quickly adjust to change. You can nurture this ability to adjust by:

Reframing difficult situations, to see them as opportunities to learn and grow rather than simply obstacles to live through
Being open to change; when plans or situations change, step back and look at ways to cope

17. Courageous

The world’s most successful people often exemplify great courage. They are willing to take risks, even in the face of potential failure. Research suggests that courageous people utilize positive emotions to overcome fear.⁹ You can improve your tolerance of risk by:

Quelling negative emotions and focusing on more positive feelings
Balancing risk with common sense; being cautious and pragmatic can also pay off, depending upon the situation

18. Curiosity

People who are successful tend to be curious about the world around them. They are always eager to learn more, including new knowledge and skills. You can cultivate your sense of curiosity by:

Relating tasks to your interests: If you find filing boring, for example, look for a more efficient way to categorize the information to play to your strengths as an organizer.
Learning new things

19. Competitiveness

Successful people are able to utilize competition to motivate, but avoid falling prey to jealousy. You can nurture a healthy sense of competition by:

Focusing on your own improvements; rather than worry about being the best at something, pay attention to your progress
Being happy when others succeed

20. Cultivate Strong Social Support

Doing things alone can be difficult, but having a strong social support system can make things easier. Different types of social support can be important for success.

Emotional support can provide the comfort, security, and empathy you need as you face challenges.
Esteem support can boost your confidence and encourage you to keep going.
Informational support can provide mentorship, advice, and other necessary resources to reach your goals.
Tangible support can help you in active and practical ways. This might involve someone helping you perform a task or taking care of the task for you.

Having even one close person in your life that you feel you can go to in any circumstance is more helpful for your relational well-being than having 10 friends who are surface level. It’s about quality, not quantity.