Tara Massan, Monique Renegado & Gustavo Razzetti
How many times have you thought — or said to yourself — “I can’t take this any longer?”
We all face a breaking point from time to time. Successful people do, too. No one is immune to continuous stress or anxiety. However, learning how to overcome a breaking point is crucial to your success.
Breaking points test us. And with courage and resilience, we can turn them into defining moments for the better.
We all have those times in our life when we reach a breaking point. No matter how emotionally mature a person is, everybody has a limit to their kindness, patience, and generosity. Whether it’s because of work, family, or relationships, one thing they have in common is the stress that comes with it. All of us have those days when we take a deep breath and say, “I can’t take this anymore.” Most times, we come to the brink when we’re surrounded by nothing but reminders of our failures and mistakes. Shortcoming after shortcoming. Burnout after burnout. And there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel.
When you reach this stage in your life, this is usually the time you’re forced to make a choice: to continue or to change a different path. Your breaking point can be a sign to quit your job or break up with your partner. Your breaking point can be a wake-up call to make huge changes in your life, and this comes with a lot of risks. This can also be the last push you need to chase for the finer things in life, a dream you’ve put behind for years now. We try to avoid reaching our breaking points as much as possible because of the amount of stress that we go through, but we can’t deny the role it plays in helping us grow into the person we want to become.
Breaking Points Don’t Happen Overnight
“Each man has a breaking point, no matter how strong his spirit. Somewhere, deep inside him, there is a flaw that only the fickle cruelty of fate can find.”
— David Gemmell
Everyone has a breaking point. Denying it can be dangerous. The earlier you recognize the signs, the earlier you can do something about it.
Most people crack up when their stress levels become unbearable. A breaking point is not an isolated incident but the culmination of an internal process; tension and stress often build over time until we have enough. Even though fatigue builds up, we continue pushing and want to stay the course. We fail to pay attention to the mind that’s telling us to stop. Until it’s too late.
Everyone experiences breaking points in distinct ways.
Some people resist being under pressure, and they immediately turn off. Others ignore the symptoms, letting stress build up until, all of a sudden, they explode. Many individuals overreact to situations that might feel normal to anyone else.
Chronic stress is like hearing a dripping faucet, according to Deepak Chopra: “First, you notice it, then you get irritated, and finally, you can’t stand it anymore. By the time you get to Stage 3, it’s time to fix the drip.”
Stress affects us one drop at a time until we can’t tolerate it any longer. Your brain is triggered to respond — it releases stress hormones that throw you out of balance.
Deepak Chopra identifies three stages that turn the dripping faucet into a make-or-break situation.
Stage 1: You are aware of being under pressure, but still feel centered.
Stage 2: Stress clouds your judgment, and you start to lose control. You have to make a conscious effort not to respond with anger, anxiety, or impatience.
Stage 3: You can’t cope any longer, and you explode — you release your tension momentarily but feel embarrassed and regretful.
Stress is cumulative; don’t miss the signs.
5 Warning Signs You’re At Your Breaking Point
Here are some warning signs you’re headed toward an emotional meltdown:
1. You’re not your usual self.
You may be more easily irritated and snap at others over minor things throughout the day. Sometimes, you may just withdraw altogether and harbor an attitude of “I can’t be bothered.”
2. Your appearance is lackluster.
A few months ago, you used to take pride in your appearance. But nowadays, you simply don’t care about your appearance like you used to.
3. Day-to-day life seems like a burden.
Daily routines, tasks and obligations all seem like burdens. The point is, everything is a burden.
4. You spend more time engaging in destructive habits.
You may have noticed you’re spending more time out with friends, but you’re only drinking and partying. On the flip side, you have shut everyone out, and you would rather be home alone or sleeping.
5. Your immune system is compromised.
You can’t shake the common cold, or you’re more prone to getting sick frequently.
If you’ve noticed these signs, don’t worry. You’re in good hands. You can get your life back on track.
https://41a69fc8c506cba8d86f04209bae94ee.safeframe.googlesyndication.com/safeframe/1-0-40/html/container.html Right now, think of it like this: You’re heading into a construction zone in thick traffic. What a nightmare, right? Exactly. But, you can always correct your course and find the side roads that will get you back to home base.
How to Deal With Breaking Points
A breaking point is a moment of greatest strain. Interestingly enough, the breaking points are the moments in which we need to stay calmer. Research shows that trying to control every event increases our stress.
Columbia University’s George Bonanno coined the term “PTE” (Potentially Traumatic Event) — an event is not traumatic unless we experience it as such. You can turn an adverse moment into a breaking point or not.
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Always adapt, never react
Fighting what we don’t know or can’t control it’s inherently human. Our brain loves being in charge. That’s why we feel anxious when facing breaking points — we want to be in control of every situation.
Take time to acknowledge your emotions. Are you angry? Sad? Disappointed?
Self-awareness is critical to pause and reflect — connect with your emotions but don’t react. Learn to acknowledge and observe your thoughts rather than through them. Don’t let your emotions cloud your vision.
Resilience requires practice
Recovering from a breaking point takes time and practice. Resilience is a skill that you develop through time — be patient and willing to put the effort.
Remind yourself of similar past situations that you were able to overcome: “I’ve been there, done that. I can do it again.”
Send a message to the world
When you are against the ropes, saving a break point boosts more than your self-confidence — you are saying that you are alive and kicking.
Treat your breaking points as a match. Don’t let your “opponent” win — stay focused and balanced. What’s your message to the world?
Turn your mind into an ally
Routine, distractions, and busyness debilitate our mind — we feel like living on autopilot. Meditation and other mindful practices can turn your mind into your best ally.
Practice strengthening your mind — become familiar with yourself so that you can deal better with unexpected events. Embracing your own vulnerability will make you stronger.
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Utilize social support
You don’t need to fight your breaking point alone. We are as strong as the strength of our relationships. Who do you evaluating testosterone enanthate effects trust? Who can provide a calm space to help you clear your mind?
Having a success partner makes it easier to deal with life’s challenges. Check out this simple exercise to start building yours.
Let It All Out
You’ve reached your breaking point because you’re way past your limit. Different encounters with different people have triggered you consistently, so now your bottle is full. You can’t mask your feelings any longer. At this point, you have to stop worrying about who gets hurt and start thinking about standing up for yourself for the right reasons. My advice: let it all out. Remember that you don’t have to keep it in. You can’t move forward in your life if you don’t address the problems you’re dealing with inside. There are times when you have to be selfish, especially if you have put others’ well-being first many times. Sometimes you need to think about how unfair it is to you to always be viewed as someone whose feelings are not given much importance.
Communicate To Express, Not Argue
When it all goes down to straight-up confrontation, don’t waste your energy arguing with everyone. Focus on translating what’s in your mind through your mouth, as respectfully as you can. It’s completely understandable to flip out and say something you’ll regret in these situations, but make sure you don’t miss the point of this encounter. Speak up about the times when your feelings were hurt. Talk about those instances when you felt isolated, unheard, and unappreciated. In heated conversations like this, how you speak is more important than what you say.
The intonation in your voice has more weight than whatever hurtful comment you’re about to throw. Even if your anger and frustrations may get the best of you, be cautious about not insulting anyone without justifiable reason. Otherwise, that confrontation will just turn into the usual, disrespectful bickering without actually solving anything.
Be Honest, No Matter What
Don’t even try to hold back some of the truth just to please the same people who hurt you. When you’ve reached your breaking point, it’s better to speak brutal honesty than have reservations and hold a grudge anyway. If you want to relieve the pressure in your chest, let the truth out. Regardless of your approach, you would still hurt people. As they say, “Hurt people, hurt people.” You will hurt them if you won’t be honest or if you continue to hold grudges while giving them a cold shoulder. At least you got what you wanted to say out of your mind, and now you can sleep better at night. Never forget that your feelings are important and valid too. You may not always be right, but you can’t always be wrong either.
Don’t apologize for feeling a certain way just because you feel guilty. Try to understand why you felt that way and be a little kinder to yourself. For you to be free from your fears, you need to be incredibly honest. After everything that’s been said and done, take in what you can and cry if you have to. At this point in your life, it can be really overwhelming juggling all these emotions all at once. You can call someone you trust and vent your latent sorrows.
You Are In Control Of Your Choices
A breaking point is a critical moment when you’re likely to lose all control because of overwhelming tension. During situations like this, the outcome is unpredictable. You never know how other people would respond to your aggressiveness (if that occurs) or your life would never be the same. Remember that you can’t undo what has been done. Some consequences are harder to You have the option to stay and fix things or walk away to start a new life. Don’t think life is over after the outburst. A single situation can change our lives instantly, but we can control what happens next. Even if we may lose grip on certain things, never lose yourself. The circumstances around you alter all the time, but you can survive anything if you take it one at a time. Learn to embrace your mistakes by realizing that you are in control.
How you act makes all the difference, so don’t act in haste and impulse. Being calm when you’re under pressure is one of the hardest things to do, so it’s important to be aware of your feelings. When you know that you’re not in the best state of mind to make a judgment, you don’t tactlessly respond with anger or impatience. When you’re calm, it’s easier for you to cope with the unpredictability of it all than when you’re hot-tempered. Breathe in and out, and expect less from the people around you. Suppressing your emotions only does more harm than good, so it’s better to be vocal. But among all these, never forget the responsibility you have with what you say and mean.
Give Yourself Time To Heal
Having relieved from your breaking point, the best thing you can do is indulge at the moment. This is not the time to anxiously plan the next step in your life or rush into anything permanent. Instead, take things slow and evaluate your decisions in life. Don’t jump straight to the next relationship. Don’t forgive and forget for the sake of forgiving and forgetting, if deep down, you haven’t fully moved on. It’s important to give yourself time to grieve the person you once were: someone who was too lenient and accepting of unappreciation.
Indulge in the long process of knowing yourself on a deeper level by keeping your mind at the center of things. Ask yourself why that confrontation had to happen. What factors put you in that situation and how can you avoid that from happening again? What necessary changes do you need to make to improve your perspective in life? No matter how long it takes to mend yourself, submit to that journey. You deserve the peace you’ve been striving for so long. Perhaps it’s about time you accept that only you can give that.
Conclusion:
It’s not easy to be in a situation where your differences with your partner or family put on a strain on your relationship with them. With this level of closeness and intimacy, they can put a toll on your mental health when problems remain unresolved. They can add so much pressure on your shoulders to the point where you explode. This is why it’s important to get something positive from a stressful encounter. When you’re at your breaking point, use that opportunity to deal with inner anger and bitterness by addressing them maturely. Try your best to be in control of your words and actions, so that you avoid blowing things out of proportion. Focus on the issues at hand, and don’t bring up the past just to revisit old wounds.
As scary as being at your breaking point may be, make a conscious effort not to be easily provoked. Remember, the key to winning is to stay calm and listen to your mind. When facing a critical point in your relationship, how you react defines the outcome. Whether your relationship with your family or friends works out or not depends on you, not on anybody else. So, if what you want is to sort out all the obstacles and not to lose something you treasure deeply, don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Pride is the worst enemy that you can’t easily shrug off your back.
At Positive Psychology and Educational Consult, we are ready to help you to navigate your life. Contact us today. We are available online 24/7.
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